To the JP Community

[RyanRacer48]

First off let me just say to those who were NOT involved in any of the drama I'm sorry that your play experience was "annoyed" by having to see and deal w/ just the entry lag / visual eyesores alone of the first day of my ban where I essentially was just showing off that I could still get in.

 

Just like my original post where I pushed a server upgrade w/o much attention to how it would be taken, I tried pushing my point on how the ban was unjust. ( In the process just solidifying the reason ) Had I not been drunk off my ass and fueled by friends talking their shit saying ( ohh your gonna let them keep YOU out ) etc . I probably would have just taken the kick from the server as a cue to go to bed.

 

Initially when the ban occurred I was in a (NON malicious) verbal war with Cousin . Everybody knows hes a troll and I had never seen the name before so I just played right into it, along w/ thinking he was Sorrow I was pretty much TROLL putty to play w/. I assumed since "sorrow" was in on joking around w/ vulgarity , I was in the clear. I truthfully didn't pay a single bit of attention to what Reptar was trying to do. I had never even seen him as anything other than an average level admin so I suppose I wasn't worried about a 17 year old kid telling me at 25 not to cuss. I know cussing is not usually policed on JP and until day I read exactly what I typed and saw the things I didn't know my friends typed while playing, I can see why he was trying to calm it down.

 

After a few days of playing under different names and IP addresses ( some being detected others not ) foolishly, I thought they would just get the point and stop trying: So I kept at it. I even got so angry to the point of letting a select few people know exactly what I "could" do .

 

From an Administrators stand point I'd be PISSED if somebody did what I did circumventing bans and "showing up" admins to make a point.

My only excuses are as follows:

1. The first 24 hours or so of this crap was alcohol fueled rage.

2. New medication giving ups and downs .. (dosage amount changes etc)

3. I honestly felt that I had some seniority at JP due to time played. While it doesn't excuse the actions, it was the reason I got so upset in the first place.

4. Lastly, I even think I started venting personal (real life) frustrations on the JP universe. 2 kids 2 babies mamas, ( 1 with my wife ), I run my own repair store, etc .

 

Now onto some personal apologies and comments.

 

Reptar : I assumed you to be a complete dick just because at the time I just noticed your admin promotion and felt I was being unjustly punished. ( I know I'm hardly the innocent victim right? LOL ) Along with knowing your still a young man I jumped the gun and pre-judged you. I saw ya on the other night and w/ the Kent joke you knew it was me and didn't ban me. Your alright in my book, and I offer my E- handshake to seal a truce.

 

HDY: You were just doing your job, I just assumed you jumped on the anti recon bandwagon before even subjectively reading your posts.

 

Aero : You got skill bro, your a no non sense admin. While we've had a few words I've really got nothing against you and apologize for biting your head off for posting.

 

Wook / Gotic / anyone else : I really don't know you at all, I suppose you were just defending your clan and I can dig that. No hard feelings?

 

 

 

 

To stop this from being a sermon, I'll sum this up.

 

IF I PISSED YOU OFF BEING A DRUNK DOUCHE BAG TALKING SHIT TO COUSIN -- I'M SORRY

IF I PISSED YOU OFF RECONNECTING TO THE SERVER CIRCUMVENTING BANS -- I'M SORRY

IF I PISSED YOU OFF BY POSTING THREADS BASHING YOU. -- I'M SORRY

If I pissed you off because I wouldn't put out for 1/2 off . I'm really not sorry, don't argue the price next time!

[Smity]

Interesting wording you chose but is decent. I dont want to see any spamming of this thread k guys.

[carcinoGeneticist]

While, in all due respect, I do not know you or what you did, I do respect that you came forward with it and ask for forgiveness. B)

 

I just hope the others will be as kind.

[Solitaire]

I really hope you are honest with this.

 

I should also clarify something for you.

 

Cousin was never Sorrow, I renamed to |JP|Sorrow[Co], already with an incorrect rank. Cousin reacted out of fun.

You did not disrespect Cousin, instead, you disrespected me.

 

I take no offense, it happens regularly on the server. I'm just making sure you understand what did actually happen.

[Wookjedi]

If you are honest and you mean it .... this is some way to go.

[Metal]

I accept what you have to say, but not to be a dick, I have to see it to believe it.

[Ivaj]

What are you taking medication for rEcon?

[Pengu]

Well this is certainly a step in the right direction.

[GothicDream]

Well this is certainly a step in the right direction.

 

This.

[Twilen]

 

 

I have experienced more than one of your rages on the server in my opinion I would never allow you to play again.

This apologize is acceptable but in matter of detterent example you should be banned at least for some period.

Like a month, 14 days or so.

Its pretty you show your nice face but we should keep rules not only by words n forum.

 

 

You remind me on man who were wearing name like "GOD" isnt that one of your fakes? :shiftyninja:

[Theos Sairin]

I will admit, this apology seems a little too late for my liking, you've acted like a total idiot from all of this, and NOW you apologise.

 

However...

 

You have apologised. Yes you took your time about it but you have apologised. At least it's heading to the right direction... I don't have any problems with what you DID because I wasn't involved, but how you acted after.

 

I personally agree with Metal, I don't wanna seem like a dick, but I do have to see it to believe it. I'll admit, the times I've seen you on the server while you've been circumventing, you haven't seemed like a bad guy.

 

So yeah maybe this is genuine, and I hope it is. So yeah... Let's see where this goes.

[Hypnotoad]

1. The first 24 hours or so of this crap was alcohol fueled rage.

 

First of all....I really hate it when someone blames all their actions on alcohol.

 

Secondly it took you this long to realize that you should have just apologized and awaited decision just like everyone else who gets banned from the JP server.

 

that lastly while you do seem to have problems at home...you shouldn't let it effect how you treat others.

 

I hope all goes well for you

[RyanRacer48]

I spoke with reptar last night and cleared things up with him as well. Essentially after looking at this whole thing subjectively I realized at first the reconnections were just to spite him for banning me. After that it was simply out of necessity to get my JKA fix.

 

I have no intent intent to cause future problems on the server. I truly am embarassed that I've put myself into this "troll" stereo type.

 

I appreciate the maturity most of you have just shown by posting in such a positive light. I never played as "god". I picking super hero and kid show type names lol. I also witnessed people being assumed to be me, so please don't just jump the gun and assume I was someone who caused trouble as most of the time I was in the server TRYING to not to make waves. I would obviously give myself up when somebody would ask a computer related question. I

 

Ivag - Adderall . :\ I am taking the salt tabs which are instant release and lead to serious ups and downs. Pretty much the low doses work great but only last a matter of hours, yet when I take the higher doses I get shaky and extremely edgy. I'm finding a sweet spot at under 30mg a day, where I was previously told to take a max of 90mg.

 

The last few months I've went from 175lbs to 160 , and I've had some severe mood swings while coming down from the higher doses I was trying. While it could explain some of my anger I had it doesn't excuse the actions. I obviously don't want to "blame the meds" but it just happened to be the same month I started this.

[Ivaj]

Are you using it for attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder?